så var det dags igen!

jaha...så var man här igen då.
(mi dispiace ora scrivo in svedese siccome sono in svezia...)

nu har jag varit i hemma i sverige i cirka två veckor. det har varit jobbigt, omtumlande, ett givande och tagande. och alldeles för mkt stress som vanligt. både fysiskt och psykiskt. mina älskade vänner, ni med andra ord, har däremot hjälpt mig och varit där, så tack för att ni är så gulliga och är där trots att ni nu har väntat i snart sex år på att jag ska komma hem. Men nu blir det väl antagligen så till sommaren. YEEEEY!!! skulle ju egentligen ut å svänga på dem lurviga igår igen, men så blev ikke fallet. efter en heldag utav shopping med mamma (och hon säger att jag har shoppingproblem??!) så skulle jag bara hem och äta var det tänkt å sen ut med nillapillan. men istället blev det sängen med tv tittandes. orkade inte ens lyfta huvudet. iaf så tittade jag på ett sådant oerhört givande program som Supernanny. Men det var nog det bästa jag kunde ha gjort. jag kom fram till att jag behöver helt enkelt en supernanny själv...så genast kände jag mig bättre när jag satte upp lite mål och krav på mig själv.

men likförbannat så vaknade jag ju tre timmar senare än klockan ringde. men jag hann till tåget ändå bara för att upptäcka att jag inte hade kontanter eller busskort. kunde inte ringa mor o far igen, ingår nämligen i min plan att som 25 åring to be så är det väldigt pinsamt att vara pengaberoende av dem, så jag kom på den smarta iden att ringa min käre bror istället! så snäll som han är så kom han till tåget och mötte mig med både busskort o pengar!
in på stan, mötte johanna o lisa på nk. ingen shopping!!! bra, poäng för det!!
fika sen med martin, jon, kristian o johanna.
sen presentköp till martin.
hann även med biljard, systemet och en sväng till johanna. väl hemma hos mina föräldrar så lagade jag mat och sen har jag slappat. måste säga att det ter sig bra!

en annan sak jag har kommit underfund med så här på hal is på hemmaplan, det är vad mycket dumt som sägs och blir sagt när man har druckit. och väldigt mycket roligt med iofs.
ja det var väl allt för mig idag, gonatt!

Merry Joyful Christmas

I've been really busy the last week/s as you might have noticed. anyway, now Im in Sweden and celebrating Christmas, New Years and my 25th birthday.

So from me to all of you I wish you a Merry Christmas, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad, God Jul!!!

in a week...

ok...so within the next ten days i have tons to do!
Thursday: uni in the morning, lunch with NLE for our upcoming event "The Soul of Lucia" @ club Femme, Dec 13. (Don't miss it, if you're in Rome that is...) then I'm gonna go on a touristbus around rome...exciting!! at 8.30 Stacy my dear friend is performing in a play. then after there is a party at a friend's house.
Friday:meeting with prospective client for NLE. then studying like a maniac for my three finals on Monday!!! Xmas party in the evening. Sat and Sun I'll have to study for my finals...che palle!!! Monday busy with exams from 10-18pm---straight on!

Monday nite big PARTY!!! tuesday promoting wednesday SANTA LUCIA party!!! thursday pack friday flying to london baby!!! gonna see my sweetie carolina and some other friends. Then someone told me something about a christmas ball in the evening, what was that Jason? ;) saturday fly back to rome for the final dinner with my forever departing friends =( Sunday flying to Sweden for a months vacation!!! yeeeeey!!!
so now you know what I'm up to !!!

well I just need to center mysef as Laura would put it!

anything but nothing...

I don't feel like dancin (scissors sisters) and get up (fibes, oh fibes!) are the songs played on my itunes now...fibes, oh fibes! I gotta say are geniusies...they make me smile no matter what! they are absofucklinglutely fantastic!!! check them out if you haven't (haha I should get paid by them now, shouldn't I?!)

so many things in soooo little time..two more days to deadline of everything it seems. Last weeks of school, and the beginning of something new with NLE (northern light events). today I even recieved my offical work email, aaaaw and it felt good baby! the step to the adult world is approaching as we speak (or as Im writing) scary but niiiceee I like challenges ;) so give it to me baby...

going to sweden on the 17th arrive on the 18th haha yeah I know but it's on the north pole, it takes time to arrive (or maybe because it's a night flight, either or, don't remember..; ) then gothenburg, copenhagen, stockholm and god knows where else before my last semester at university starts!!! then in may, there will be the biggest party ever!!! however since I'm now am writing this when I should be writing about the great american artist edward hopper, and 6 articles and a feature story....
I'm not quite sure if I'll make it....


however as Stella Adler put it "Your talent lies in your choices!"

saturday morning after a friday night

It's been a loooong week. Many deadlines a lot of things to do. I have to start with my thank you speech again. Without Jason this week (again!!!) I wouldn't have made it. He's great, such a loving sweetheart! Even though he had to work the next day he stayed up with me until 3 in the morning helping me to get my two big film reviews done. TVB JASON! (hehe now he's gonna get proud, but he really deserves to be so it's okay!) another big thanks to my friends in sweden, who are still there for me everytime I come back home. and they are always there to listen to my crazy plans. and even though I've told them so many times that I will move back without actually doing it, they still love me and I love you guys!

We had our second aperitivo with Northern Light Events yesterday. It was sushi and my dear friend silvia showed her paintings. I'm impressed. she's really good!! people like the idea. I'm happy. it's like my baby. soon I'm gonna finish the homepage and the businesscards too. 2007 is going to be a good year. people already asked us to organize events for them!

My ex came to the aperitivo. always nice to talk to him. he knows me so well though. and he is one out of a few to actually understand what I mean when I sometimes don't even understand myself. we said however that we are doing so much better apart then together. funny isn't it how life and love works out sometimes!?

I had art again this week, we went to see the exhibition of Andy Warhol. I really do love art! why did I stop studying art and advertising, so stupid! if I sit with art time will pass and I could work for ever without knowing it. like when i worked for the paper in the states. haha maybe that's why I never got married to him. I was in love with my job. Anyway I've reached the conclusion that it's better like this. everything happens for a reason. love is love, a career is a career. and someone desperately wants me to make a career it seems hahaha
I got an offer to go to new york. I might do it. I don't know. first sweden though. I have so many plans. where to start? where to go? in six months i'm done with school. people tell me not to worry, that I will make something big, a success. haha ok that's nice to hear. but as what??? anyway in life there is a beginning and an ending, when you find the right beginning the end doesn't matter anymore!

the saying of the day: "To have what you have not, you must do what you haven't done!"

my horoscope for today

Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19)
"Although your social life continues to heat up, it temporarily becomes difficult for you to initiate action. You may be torn between doing the right thing and doing nothing at all. You don't want to let anyone down, but there is a reckless streak that is now firing you up. Don't bury your desires. Instead, find a course of action that takes both sides into consideration. But if you are too impulsive, you will face the music pretty quickly"

hm..so what to do???

from annaroma to annamilano

wow...what can I say, I'm speechless! Literlly too actually ;) I lost my vocie, totally lost it. So for once it's really quite around me. I'm sure my friends are excited to rest their ears for awhile though. I tend to talk a lot as you know...maybe that's why it's gone now haha...Oh and how I wanted to tell everybody about my fabulous weekend in Milano. It's was sooo my fun, actually no, IT WAS THEEEE WEEKEND EVER! who ever said that people are unfriendly in Milano?? they were soooo wrong! I came up to Milano not knowing anybody. Now I think I know more people in Milano then I do in Rome! I think that this blog will change name in the future. annaroma goes annamilano!!! what can i say. The city is great. the shopping is great. the people are great. what else can a girl ask for?! I came on Friday. My cousins friend came to meet me. Erlend. So nice. so adorable. Just great! we had never met before but he took care of me like I was his future mother-in-love (which means that I got the royal treatment!=) thank you soooo much for that! me like. me like a lot! then of course I didn't waste my time, I wasted my money! I went shopping. now you gotta know that I already have a shoppingproblem, in milano it got worse. What could I have done? I just had to get that jacket. that shirt, that dress and the other one too. the bag. the cute cover for my cell. oh and I also had to get that necklace and bracelet and earings to match. hm...and then some more. i'm a bad bad girl! I spent my rent. but it was worth it! I'd do it again. I hope soon too =) Saturday I had to get up early, too early. Then I went to the airport in Bergamo. Don't ask me why-stupid really, but now I can check that of my cities that I've been to (and am not going back to...) then I went back to milano and met my friend from torino. it was really nice. then we did some more shopping. or she had to help me carry my bags actually. then I got a call from Marco. he was in town. so we met and had lunch. it was nice. nicer cause he talks more than I do. how that can ever be possible?! elisabetta my friend from torino is a lawyer. so is he so my participation in the conversation was limited. then we met some more people. friends of elisabetta, friends of marco and friends of erlend. we were a big group of people as you may understand. after 8 hours of shopping I was really tired. so me and erlend went to get aperitivo. Don't know if I look like someone famous. But everywhere I went, I got princesstreatment and everybody was really nice. Even the girl at the aperitivo place. she gave us soooo much food. for free. (haha which is actually the point of aperitivis but oh well) then we got back to erlends aptm and I had the longest nicest shower ever! then it was partytime. a modelfriend of mine that lives in milano had told me to go to the club. so we did. she said it was really difficult to get in but she gave me a name on a person. if I got treated like a princess, this person must be a king. the line was looooong when we got there. I just walked up to the doorman and said this name. He smiled and the doors were open (for me and my 10 friends). once inside we decided to get a table. they said that they had a perfect table for us. and what a table it was! MAMMA MIA: it was the table in the middle of the club, surrounded by the dancefloor. higher up like a stage kinda. it it was ours for the night. and we used it well I can assure you!!! it was a perfect ending on a perfect weekend! then today it wasn't as fun. I had to leave. my new favourite city and my new friends. and to fly hungover. not to recomend by the way. I decided to call the driver that takes me around sometimes to come and get me. he was late of course. which was like a welcome back to reality wake-up from your dream morning and I'm back in rome realization. oh how I want to be in the dream again.

a weekend somewhere else

so...for you who knows me this with me going to milano shouldn't be a big surprise. however i'm myself am a bit surprised to tell you the truth. However, I had to get away from Rome for a couple of days-since I couldn't go to London last weekend either- so since I got the job offer, (which I'm not going to go to now) I decided to go. A friend asked me to come on Friday instead of Saturday which was my first plan. Sagt o gjort,.I booked my ticket. Then realizing that I had forgot to ask at what time they could meet me. Ill land at 14 and they're working until 20 so all of a sudden I was by myself in Milano. I kind of liked the idea though! becuase when I feel like this like I do about Rome now, I just gotta leave. PRobably because I'm used to changing places and traveling I guess. But it's funny- when I put my mind into something, I'll do it and even more so if I've never done it before. (did that make sense, probably not...=) I mean...yeah it's nice to go places which you know before and what to expect and to go with someone you know. ME, I'm the opposite. I guess I love a challenge, thank god, considering how my life has been so far. However, now all of a sudden in two days, I 'm fully booked, also thanks to my dear cousin Andy who introduced me to his friend that is going to host me! then I'm also gonna see a good friend from Torino then Marco is coming up from Rome (no not that marco)!! All of a sudden I guess I do know people in Milano too! oh how I love to travel...I'm a little bit ashamed though. I'm a student. But I'm living like a princess. I could take the train to MIlano but it takes 5 hours, so i decided to fly which only takes an hour. To get to the airport I could get a train too, but then I would have to first take a bus to the train...so I decided to call my driver. hm well...I guess I prefer comfort instead of being smart with money...And since I'm going to the fashion town in Italy, hm...even Europe, of course I'm gonna go shopping! So me going to Milano isn't that weird after all. It's a typical weekend in my life. Go out to resturants, shopping and clubbing...hm. only because I'm a student I don't have to live like one...even though I should, but now Im actually spending my own money! YEY! oh...and who 's the other seat for at the Ice bar in Milano?!

oh, a small advice to you guys out there!

Sometimes it’s nice to have that female intuition and be right. Other times I hate it. Like yesterday when I talked to the Italian guy that I dated in the past. He’s a professional Latin-American dancer and I always had the feeling that he was seeing his dance partner as the same time as we were going out. Tried to ask him indirectly so many times but without a confession. Until yesterday. Oh how I hate to be right! Even though we stopped dating this summer, we ‘ve still been in contact. So I put him in a corner yesterday, so that he had to tell me. He sounded nervous and then it came. He said, “Anna I’m, and I’ve been together with someone….(silence)…..my dance partner.” Oh god was he surprised by my reaction which was-nothing... I only said, well I knew that already. “You knew!!!” haha guys…a small advice…never ever lie to your ladies. We always know the truth. It’s weird but we do!! It’s better that the truth comes out in the beginning ‘cause even if you’re hiding it, sooner or later, it will come out and then it’s going to be even worse.. Take my word on it!

that girl she acts so tough...

well not everything in this magical world is what is seems. I'm searching for things that I can't see, why don't you come and be with me? it's all in me, why can't you see? haha I like to steal lyrics to express my emotions. It's easier that way, they're already invented! anyway today I once again realized how i am in need of earning a lot of money!! I've been at the uni all day, writing on a paper that better make some kind of prize considering how much time and corrections I've spent on it! anyway, got home to a really messy house. Krisitan is sick so he hasn't been cleaning and I didn't have time. But today I really had to, I also had to do laundry and go for groceries. then when I got home I had to cook. Spending soooo much time on something that I could hire a maid to do...well if I had the money. This made me even more determined to make money! so, Im going to milano this weekend for a job offer that I've got...well we'll see how it goes!

I came to another conclusion today...why is it that when guys get sick, they become like small children...? the most funny thing is that I've been turning into a mother taking care of him...haha the nature is doing its job I guess...we act in the most weird ways don't we?! anyway, if you'd only listen you'd realize what you're missing. YOU'RE MISSING ME!!!

woke up at HOME

Woke this morning in my own bed, in my own home, with my own clothes and everything. Now you might think well what's weird about that?! Nothing!! It's just that it's sooo nice to have my own home! I love visiting in Sweden and I love to travel. But it's here my things are, and my everyday life. Even though the apartment is a typical italian apartment from the 60s it's mine. It has my name on the contract and my name on the postbox. It's mine. And Krisitans. And Anna's. (the new girl) I really need to go to Ikea though. Have to buy a new wardrobe and shoeshelf. I don't know how many shoes that I have. But they are quite a few. Over 30 pairs I am sure. But shoes are like boyfriends, you can only use one (pair) at a time. Which is a shame really. Sometimes it's so hard to choose. (shoes that is) Took a day off from studying today. I thought I deserved it. We'll see if the professors think the same. Like grandma always says, No one will ever see how long it took you to finish, all they see is the result! Which is kinda shitty considering how much time you know you spend sometimes (on shopping) without reaching a good result (finding the shirt or the pants you were looking for). Well what can I say? C'est la vie!

who'll stop me from running?

somedays are long, others are longer...It's like I've opened my eyes this last week, to see something new. Everything feels so real now. Why is that? did I meet someone that helped me without knowing it? Maybe...I don't know. The dream is still ongoing. The feelings are there but not to be shown. Why? it's too precious. I'm tired of always being correct, doing the right things. Not being who I really am...Only some people know. this person knew. still knows I hope. maybe everybody does, maybe it's just me being silly. well Im ready to try. at least I think I am...I ran once, I'll probably do it again.

my heart is an unfurnished room, any suggestions?

Woke up about 4 hours later then I had planned... Kristian is back and we had breakfast together, just like in the old good times...(two weeks ago...) Kristian, for you who don't know, is my roommate...he's charming and crazy, he's just himself! A good guy helt enkelt! (Sorry for the mix of langauges, but that´s´just me being me...je suoi moi! så att säga)
Not many people understand me...not even myself sometimes, but I'm quite often mixing swedish, italian and english. But not only that...so often when I speak I think half of the sentence and speak the other half out loud..to me it makes sense of course but to the listener not as much...the subject is missing. Carolina my ex roomie always said..Okay Anna, where are we going, to meet whom, and to do what?? because so many times I said...allora, andiamo li ed incontriamo loro e poi facciamo cosi! it's not that Im not fluent in any language...it's just that Im a quite confusing girl!
Yesterday I had a nice conversation with an old dear friend of mine...he didn't agree to be being confused, He told me that I'm actually not as confused as I think I am...I'm more clear about things than most people (and he should probably know since he's studying psychology or at least I hope he is...=)
After the breakfast with Krisitan I walked to school and was just happy of being in Italy. the air even had that typical italian smell...then right when I was thinking about it a car passed me and I inhaled the smog...caughed and the moment was lost! But who cares I was still in Italy!
Today Ive been in the library all day. (Jason you're such a sweetheart, without you I never would have made it through!! (now I can check that of my to do list as well...thanking Jason! ) He said that my writing was adorable...but what did he really mean? that it sucks?! haha I think so....
Isn't it amazing how much you actually get done in school...at home I'm doing everything else BUT studying...like writing in this blog for example...boring you guys out!
Was in school for almost 7 hours and actually got things done!! yey!!!

Oh did I tell you, my heart is an unfurnished room, any suggestions? (It's great how many lyrics that fit into my life nowadays..)
The word of the day is ENCHANTED (i got so facinated by this word that I heard in a song, so I had to look it up) it said to fill someone with great delight and charm, or to cast somone or something under a spell! well isn't that enchanting?!

everything has it's own time and place!

Realized today after several ppl have been telling me, "anna, get a grip, don't stress out, you need to focus and calm down. You need to be the happy and smiling anna!" It's true...this past month i've been going through some rough times...having feelings that I didn't think I was able to have...Scary! I've been feeling like a baloon, without air...Knowing that I had to focus and do things...but unable to do anything. It was as my mind has been on hold.
Today I had an art presentation,and while preparing for it I was in the library...reading about art. And I realized that (many realizations today...=) I miss studying art and design...and working with it. However I'm just happy that today is a good day! I'm smiling again...after realizing that everything has it's own time and place...and that we have to go through things to realize other things...
This song is another reminder of that!

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be...

A new way of thinking

Gotta write in English too...sometimes that's even easier than writing in Swedish...funny isn't it?! (and if I could've written well in Italian, I would've too...)
That's how it is though...dealing with three different langauges every day. Not always easy, just like life itself I guess.
Decided to open this blog for me to analyze my feelings and thoughts about life here in Rome...and in general too for that matter. Even though it for some people might seem that I'm living la dolce vita, it's not always easy being a swedish, blonde girl in Italy...and i am too, only human, with feelings and a heart.
Unfortunately that haven't been clear to some people that I've ran across on my journey...From being a naive girl to the little more mature girl that I am today...it's been a loooong road...and I've learned it the hard way. Maybe the only way to learn about life?!
Some people that doesn't know me (yet) might think that I'm a strong, determined young woman who doesn't get run over by anybody. Oh how I wish it was like that, it would've been so much easier. However I'm just me, determined yes but sometimes it feels like I'm Bambi on slippery ice...with no idea what to do...scared...most of all of not being able to love and being loved...is it really that hard?
For now I'll keep my mask on...makes life so much easier...but slowly, slowly I want to take it off...

Ett Nytt Tänkande

Jaha så var man medlem här oxå...det är värst vad man måste bli medlem överallt för att hänga med!
Tänkte att detta kanske kan bli en bra "terapi" för lilla mig, att få skriva av mig mina frustrerande, underbara känslor ibland. Mamma har nämligen fått lite undringar från släktingar när jag har skrivit av mig på resedagboken. "men, vad gör anna där nere egentligen?! Festar o reser hon bara? Trodde hon skulle plugga!" nääääj jag är inte den där starka "lilla fröken duktig" som mina kära släktingar tycks tro (och nog har blivit motbevisade ett antal ggr, om dem bara visste!!!)

Läste på aftonbladet att Lasse Anrell saknade tacktalen på sportgalan så här kommer mina!
Först och främst måste jag tacka KiLLJiLL och Natureboys Sonny som har inspirerat mig till denna sida (förlåt att jag tog samma layout, men de andra var ju inte vackrast istan direkt...)
Sen måste jag tacka min älskling Johanna aka habbahallis för att hon har stått ut med mina berg-o-dalbansresor. UTan henne hade jag nog hamnat på psyket.
För att inte prata om min pandababy Karin och Lilla Lisa...anna, pillan, sälen...ja listan är oändligt lååång.
Och mina två minuter är över.

Ni lär få höra mer ifrån mig (tyvärr, men ni behöver ju faktiskt inte läsa...)
this is anna, reporting from her sex and the city life in rome, italy.